dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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