she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Houston, we have a squirter
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
