U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
