This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Also, beer. Big fan.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
