Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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