Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
