Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
