OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Ketchup is God's man juice
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
