We're facebook friends in real life
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
