I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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