I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
