i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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