he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
There r osticjed everywhere
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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