apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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