ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
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