idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Randomize
