I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
