We're facebook friends in real life
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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