I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
