Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Randomize
