remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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