i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
