it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
