We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Randomize
