I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
