I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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