Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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