...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
im drinking this country out of the recession.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
