My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
So vagazzling was a success
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
