The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Randomize
