i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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