love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
