Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
