my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I have grass duct taped all over my body
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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