So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
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