My room smells like vodka and shame
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
