I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
