Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
I am puke
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
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