Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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