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this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
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