her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
