I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I am never drinking with the goths again.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
