Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
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