i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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