I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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