I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize