Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Tell her she can't have a vagina
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Randomize
