What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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