I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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