I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Randomize
