i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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