clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
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