I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
