That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize