trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
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