i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
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