Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Randomize
