Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Randomize