you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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