He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
