He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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