if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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