We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I will be naked everywhere
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
