so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Randomize